The roots of having a Soulmate

By Sonali Rawat

“I believe that the universe is full of people who are part of our soul tribe. We might only meet a few, but there is more than one out there. We are connected and meet people who can help us fulfil our soul’s work, our reason for being on the planet. These soulmates are not here to fulfil our dreams, but to help us grow and develop.”  

Whether it’s by fate or sheer happenstance, meeting a person with whom you make a deep, soulful connection is the basis for every lasting friendship you’ve had and every great love story that’s ever been told.

Conveying an entire conversation in a moment’s time through a single sideways glance, a roll of the eyes, or a knowing smile is just one example of what it feels like to have a soul connection with someone.

When you’re struggling with loneliness, however, the search for a relationship like this can seem elusive at best — and impossible at worst.

Throughout my own life, there have been many times I’ve encountered someone I was just drawn to — often for no reason I could adequately explain at first.

I just knew I needed to meet this person or get to know them better, or at least be somewhere in their periphery…like a curly-haired satellite.

Still, I’m the type of person who searches for meaning in just about everything.

Why is this person’s magnetism so strong? Why do I think about them at random times of the day and are they thinking of me? If they are thinking of me…ohmygods what does that mean?

Full disclosure: I believe soulmates exist.

I also believe in “true love,” at least in the sense that we can truly love another person.

And I do — for better and for worse — believe that the universe does provide us with what we need. Not necessarily what we want, but what and who we need — when we need it.

As sure as I am about my personal belief in soulmates, when I told my friend Annie about the article I was writing on the topic, she straight up told me she thinks the belief in soulmates is “crack f*ckery.”

Crack f*ckery or no, soul connections typically enter our lives at the exact time we need them the most.

Many people believe in soulmates, but what are they and how in the world — quite literally — do you find yours?

What Are Soulmates?

Soulmates connect with us on a much deeper level than kindred spirits: spiritually, emotionally, and sometimes (but not always) sexually.

• A soul friend is a lot like a kindred spirit, but the connection runs deeper. Your personalities are agreeable like kindred spirits, but your relationship feels rooted in their essence.

• A soul teacher is someone who comes into our lives and helps us to learn a specific lesson or set of lessons. This may be deliberate or unintentional, but through our association with them, soul teachers help us to grow.

• A soul companion is typically what people envision when they hear the word, “soulmate.” Soul companions are both friends and teachers.

A spiritual life coach who specialises in past life regression, told me:

“I believe that a soulmate is someone that we knew before in a past life and when we meet again in our current life it can feature a feeling of déjà vu or familiarity.

These soulmate relationships have a feeling of ease around them. They are peaceful, supportive, and many times they feature a feeling of being understood on a deep, soul level.”

Whether you believe in past lives or not, the feeling you get when you’ve met a soulmate often leaves you with a deep sense of connection that goes beyond anything you’ve felt before – although sometimes not in a positive way (more below).

There are three types of soulmates you might encounter on your journey through life:

You can be yourself with a soul friend. You may have gone through a difficult time together, or you may have helped one another transition through a particularly challenging time.

These relationships may not always be joyful and positive; a soul teacher might even arrive as a bully who forces you to handle the situation and learn from the experience.

Humans grow from challenges. Negative experiences certainly do challenge us, oftentimes more than we’d like, but every single one of them is an opportunity for further growth.

Soul companions may not be a part of your life for the entire duration, but they can be lasting romantic partners or spouses.

A person can have many soulmates and at times, it can feel like they know you better than you know yourself.

“We don’t have ‘one’ soulmate, we have many,”

“We have spiritual connections with lovers, but also friends, parents, siblings, children, co-workers, etc.”

“To me, a soulmate is anyone who has some significant, and sometimes not even consciously significant, role to play in our souls’ journey here as human beings.

Our parents, partners, friends, and possibly even the clerk at the grocery store are here as actors in our play to help us remember our divinity and clear the karmic imprint we brought into this lifetime.

I would say that one would ‘know’ you have had a soulmate relationship or interaction when a deeper understanding of self is the result. Life is the journey back to self so it isn’t a ‘one and done’ kind of process.”

Bottom Line: Soulmates connect with us on a level that goes deeper than that of kindred spirits. There are three types of soulmates: soul friends, soul teachers, and soul companions. Soul friends share agreeable personalities and may help one another through difficult periods in their lives. Soul teachers help us to learn valuable life lessons. Soul companions are what people think of when they hear the term, “soulmates,” and offer the best parts of soul friends and soul teachers. A person can have many soulmates and they can be friends, family members, co-workers, and romantic partners. 

Do Soulmates (Soul Connections) Exist?

This is probably the million-dollar question: Do soulmates or soul connections actually exist?

I thinks it depends on what we believe.

“I think we’re encouraged to believe they are real because people claim/demonstrate they’ve found theirs,” 

“It’s a connection of senses, maybe similar to experiences expressed by identical twins. A spark felt in the heart and gut of pure empathy, understanding, sense of sameness, an energy connection of sorts.”

“But all is up to the belief in fate as well,”

“For some, it happens but for most probably not.”

The Real Probability (Or Improbability) Of Soulmates

Oh, how I hate to burst your bubble with this section, but I’m going to anyway because I’m nothing if not thorough.

Particularly if you’re feeling lonely because you haven’t found a soul connection with someone yet, it’s important to understand that you are far from alone in your struggle.

In Conclusion

Soul connections arrive in all shapes and sizes, often at the moment we need them the most — but that doesn’t mean we won’t experience feelings of loneliness while trying to find them.

“For those who are still searching for a soulmate, I think it is important to remember that we have many possible soulmates and that the soulmate relationship we manifest is based on the level of growth and evolution we have achieved on a soul level,” 

“Your soulmate knows you by your soul, not your body,” 

“So they will be drawn to you when you are at your most authentic, doing work that you love and being the best version of yourself that you can be. Two people who are meant to meet will meet when the time is right, but keep the focus on yourself and who you are becoming.”

Whether we find our soulmates through fate or chance, we owe it to ourselves (and each other) to nurture these relationships and the personal, spiritual, and emotional growth they provide.

And who knows? Your kindred spirit, soulmate, or twin flame might just be the first person who crossed your mind while you were reading this article.